Before I came to the House of Hope, my life was a lot of chaos. I was in a really bad custody dispute with my daughter’s dad. I was on drugs. I’d go to court not in the right state of mind. My life was just pure insanity. It was never a good day. And I just wanted my daughter.
My life came to a point where I just needed to surrender. I felt like I was losing everything. When I started in my addiction, I had a house and a car. And I slowly started to lose everything. I lost my marriage. My daughter was the last thing I was going to lose and I didn’t want that happen.
I’ve never lost custody of her but I felt like I was going to lose her, so I had to do something to make sure that didn’t happen, so I came here. My daughter lives with my mom because her father is currently in his addiction. My mom has temporary custody of her. She’s in a good, safe place.
I was losing myself completely. I didn’t want to lose her to the point where I have to do everything that the court wanted me to, to get my daughter back.
I’ve been in the program 5 months now. I have a lot of support here. I’m seeing what God is doing in my life now. My daughter is growing and I get to experience it with her. She loves to come to “Mommy’s house”. We have our time together. And I go visit her on passes. We’re creating memories and I’m finally having playtime with her in a sober mind. Playing hide and seek sober is a different experience than before. It wears me out, but it’s a good tired. I’m so drained, but so happy. I’m just filled with all this great love.
My daughter is 3. She’s a character. She is very smart, she understands that mommy lives at “Jesus’s house”. That makes her feel so much better that I’m in a place that she knows I’ll be here when she comes. To have the family support that I have, feels so good. I don’t feel like I can’t be her mom. For a long time I felt like I couldn’t take care of her, but I’m starting to feel empowered to be the mom I know I can be. I’m here for myself, but with her in mind.